I said so many words that caused you to leave. I said so many more pleading with you to come back to me. I wish I could take back all the words. I wish for silence and the chance to hold you again.
One day, you're going to look back and think about us, and wonder why you let it slip away.
If I knew 'falling' in love would hurt this much, I would have rather 'fallen' into a ditch and may be I would be healed by now.
I tried to convince myself I didn't want you anymore. I just can't let go. I don't want to see you move on, but I'm not doing much about it either. You're two different people and I wish it would stop, because I'm living to die and dieing to live, but it doesnt mean a thing to me, until I have you. I felt so good when I was with you, you made me feel like the world; to hear I was your favorite and the best you ever had. You were not ashamed and would hold my hand anywhere. We'd talk on the phone for hours, and everytime we kissed it felt like I was dreaming. Love felt like heaven when I was with you; and now that you're gone I'm hurting like hell. I miss you so much, and I wish you were here, but I made the wrong choice and its too late, too many mistakes had been made and I lost you, forever...but you didnt loose my love because I loved you ever since the day I met you. and ill never forget you, because to me, you are the WORLD.
I have a habit of falling too hard and falling too fast, and getting my hopes up for somethng that won't last.
Nobody could feel that more than me. I was hurt the most. Nobody felt what I felt. It happened to me and it happened to me in front of the world. It was embarrassing, it was humiliating, it was hurtful it was. Its not easy. I lost my best friend. Every thing I knew switched in a night and I couldnt control that so I had to deal with that and thats not easy for me to understand or interpret. And, its not easy to interpret on camera, not with the world watching. It was hard for me to even pay attention to my mind and figuring things out because now it became a circus and I felt protective. I felt like the only person they hate right now is him. It was a weird, confusing space to be in cause as angry as I was, as angry and hurt and betrayed, I just felt like he made that mistake because he needed help and whose going to help him? Nobodys going to say hes needs helpeverybody is going to say hes a monster without looking at the source. I was more concerned about him.
I wish I could go back and say everything I kept inside.
What do you do when you realize that all you ever wanted was what you always had? Somehow knowing what Im missing makes it hurt so bad. When I needed some time away, you moved on like you should. I guess it took me too long to see that what we had was good. You tried to let me in again and trust me like before. I really would give anything to re-open that door. I knew what I wanted- and what I wanted was you. Too bad for me, today that is no less true. I never imagined that one day we would really be apart. Just know that no matter what I do; no matter who Im with, YOU are the one who is in my heart.
