funny quotes

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man
tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed

You should never underestimate the power of a woman.
She has the ability to make herself look stupid.

A friend will call you an idiot, but a best friend will not
only call you one, but act like one with you.

Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many
new ones, Try a different one each day.

If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the
battery from the clock and enjoy life.

Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor
be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend
to another with some loss of money.

Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u
please allow me to complete the whole sentence before
you start guessing & suggesting.

I feel like a Indiana Jones, because you are
the treasure I am looking for

60yr Old man: My 22 year old wife is pregnant.
What do you think, doctor?

Doc: Let me tell you a story.. A hunter in a hurry,
grabs an umbrella instead of a gun.
He goes into the jungle, sees a lion,
lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle
& BANG.. the lion drops dead!

Old man: That’s impossible, someone else must have shot the lion.

Doc: EXACTLY:))

Teacher: Who can explain gender discrimination with an example?
Student: Women can sleep with whoever they want ,
men have to sleep with whoever lets them!:))

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funny quotes

Laughter is the best medicine. But if you're aughing without any reason, you need medicine.

After Drinking, Men talk Unnecessarily, become emotional,
Drive badly, Stop thinking, Fight for nothing.
Hats off to Women..
They can do all these WITHOUT DRINKING! :-*

Only Two Things Can Change a Woman’s Mood:

1. I Love You!

2. Less 50% Discount..:)

Dying husband asks his wife: “Our 7th child always looked different
frm the other 6, did he have a different father?”

wife: (crying) ....yes…yes...

husband: who?

wife: you…:))

GF: look at my face, does it look like I care?

BF: Well by looking at your face, God didn’t care either.:))

They say that nobody is perfect, then they say
that practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make
up their minds.

Newtons third law of love: For every Idiot, there
is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot!

True friends do not judge each other,
they judge people together.

Facebook should have a limit on how many times
a relationship status can be change ... after 3 times
it should be change default to UNSTABLE!

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad.
An optimist is one who hopes they are.

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