Cripple jokes are so mean, I can't stand them!
Dear Job Application, if this is an entry level position, how am I supposed to have previous experience...
I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox...
Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him.The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.
Sometimes on Facebook, I feel like I'm just talking to a wall.
Sarcasm: Because screaming at you about how dumb you are and taking a brick and smacking you across the face with it, is considered rude...
Walmart usually uses 4 checkouts, unless it's really busy then they use one.
I like rumors! I found out so much about me that I didn't even know.
Damn, I forgot to go to the gym yesterday! That's 10 years in a row now...
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
