Sorry, honey. Sarcasm falls from my mouth as easily as stupidity falls from yours...
Sorry I offended you when I called you a bitch. I had no idea you thought it was a secret.
Women are good for 70 things, sandwiches and 69.
Walmart: Let's buy 30 cash registers...and only keep two open!
I'm as bored as a slut on her period.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn't that make life fair?
I wish I had Kim Kardashians talent of not having any talent and making money out of it.
The awkward moment when you actually have to tell someone that you're being sarcastic.
When the 'M' of MTV was for music & not for maternity...Those were the days.
I hate it when I don't forward chain messages and I die the next day.
