Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.
Tact is for people who aren't smart or witty enough to be sarcastic.
Pretending to believe in the Mayan apocalypse prophecy is a great way to get out of buying Christmas presents.
A paper should be like a mini skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
Due to circumstances within my control, tomorrow will be cancelled.
I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?
A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
I love you and it's getting worse.
