I lost my coat, hopefully someone didn't jacket.
This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
Cheaters want you to be loyal while they're being unfaithful. Makes sense.
I'm flattered you actually think I can afford the things on your holiday wish list.
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
Note to self: Work on my responses when people ask dumb questions...
You were looking good from afar.. now youre far from looking good.
Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also...
