I'm furious and cynical, nasty and sarcastic because I'm frightened, of being betrayed and crushed, disappointed and broken.
Here's hoping Santa doesn't get killed using Apple Maps this year
There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.
Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.
What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?
He was happily married but his wife wasnt.
Tact is for people who aren't smart or witty enough to be sarcastic.
I always hear people say that only God can judge them, but I guess its because they have never been to court.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
